Royal Holloway Old Boys F.C.
Warren Birchley
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Warren Birchley
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Age: 30
Playing Position: Midfield/Striker
Nickname: Wozza
He is: doing ok considering he was out on the lash last night
Player Profile:
Warren joined the Old Boys as a work colleague of Tony Moscrop a few years back,
and came with the apparent pedigree of someone who had played at a higer level and should find
things very easy at our level. After some good performances and a few goals (well a bit of huffing
and puffing round the pitch and a couple of tap ins...), Warren took on the mantle
of First Team Skipper and soon realised (after a honeymoon period of several wins on the bounce),
that motivating a load of hungover, unfit, 30-somethings like himself was a lot harder than
anticipated, as is basic requirements such as giving refreshment to the oppo or sending in the
results form on time. He offered his resignation on several occasions, all times rejected as
the Director of Football at the time had every reason to believe he would get it right eventually
(and had nothing to do with no-one else wanting the job), and shows just how good a
director of football the club had, as the team were relegated as a result. Warren has now found
a role much more to his liking, that of Social Secretary, and finds organising trips to Ascot and
to drinking establishments as much easier to motivate players for. Away from the Old Boys,
Wozza is a Millwall fan, so you can understand him being a tad depressed with footballing life
at the moment, and perhaps this is the reason why he constantly sings "no-one likes me, I don't
care!" in the pub.
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